I was actually thinking whether to write about this topic or not 'cause I know that what I'm gonna write in here are just the same with my previous posts. After a year of trying to move on and accepting the reality between the two of us, I'm still consumed with all the memories we had with each other. Though I can proudly say that remembering them nowadays already requires a lot of effort from me and sometimes, those stuffs really don't affect me anymore, I can still not hide that each moment of it are still vivid in my mind. The days when we were still so okay and the days when that so-called crack in our relationship was starting to go in between the two of us. I can still recall how the two of us separated and how the days after that went on - how I tried to move on and how I tried to pick up all the pieces of my heart that's been badly broken. I haven't had another boyfriend since we broke up and honestly, I feel sad every time that fact sinks into me. It doesn't really matter but remembering the fact that he's already happy with someone else right now, still sucks - big time.

I was thinking about this stuff lately now that it's been a year since I've lost him unexpectedly. Time has flown so fast and I wasn't even aware that 365 days of trying to accept the reality between us have already passed. 365 days of being alone and being the person I wasn't before have already gone by. 365 days that were wasted just because of something hard to accept have flown by so quickly. 365 days of being totally idle and useless in this life have also passed me by. I must admit that after he left, my world suddenly shrunk into pieces and it led to what I am now. I really feel so guilty that I just wasted my time in this world and be totally affected by what has happened to me. But though I have already realized and processed that reality (actually, it was already a long time ago), I'm still stuck here and I still haven't done anything to help myself become a better me.

My life suddenly lose it's direction when our relationship ended. I do not blame him for that but I have to accept that part of what I've become these days is because of him - and the way I was weak about having accepting that life is just like that. I am the sole reason for what I am now and I am the only one who can change my life and my perspective about it. I just wish that in the next 365 days without him, I'll be braver enough to face the world where I live in and be stronger enough to accept that life is sometimes unfair. :)

I was actually thinking whether to write about this topic or not 'cause I know that what I'm gonna write in here are just the same with my previous posts. After a year of trying to move on and accepting the reality between the two of us, I'm still consumed with all the memories we had with each other. Though I can proudly say that remembering them nowadays already requires a lot of effort from me and sometimes, those stuffs really don't affect me anymore, I can still not hide that each moment of it are still vivid in my mind. The days when we were still so okay and the days when that so-called crack in our relationship was starting to go in between the two of us. I can still recall how the two of us separated and how the days after that went on - how I tried to move on and how I tried to pick up all the pieces of my heart that's been badly broken. I haven't had another boyfriend since we broke up and honestly, I feel sad every time that fact sinks into me. It doesn't really matter but remembering the fact that he's already happy with someone else right now, still sucks - big time.

I was thinking about this stuff lately now that it's been a year since I've lost him unexpectedly. Time has flown so fast and I wasn't even aware that 365 days of trying to accept the reality between us have already passed. 365 days of being alone and being the person I wasn't before have already gone by. 365 days that were wasted just because of something hard to accept have flown by so quickly. 365 days of being totally idle and useless in this life have also passed me by. I must admit that after he left, my world suddenly shrunk into pieces and it led to what I am now. I really feel so guilty that I just wasted my time in this world and be totally affected by what has happened to me. But though I have already realized and processed that reality (actually, it was already a long time ago), I'm still stuck here and I still haven't done anything to help myself become a better me.

My life suddenly lose it's direction when our relationship ended. I do not blame him for that but I have to accept that part of what I've become these days is because of him - and the way I was weak about having accepting that life is just like that. I am the sole reason for what I am now and I am the only one who can change my life and my perspective about it. I just wish that in the next 365 days without him, I'll be braver enough to face the world where I live in and be stronger enough to accept that life is sometimes unfair. :)