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Yo!
Hello. Welcome to my blog. Read stories about my life
and everything under the sun. This blog is edited by ME. Copyrighted 2009 by misspiggiebanks.blogspot.com .
COPYCATS, Posers and Rippers are not welcome here! Strictly . Please leave a comment and thanks for viewing. Enjoy!
Hello! :)
I'm Richelle Anne de Castro Bartolome, normally called Chelle or Rich.
A 22-year old lady from Sta. Cruz, Manila who loves to express her randomness through her online journal. A Thomasian by heart. A counselor who loves to give advices but finds
it difficult to deal with her own miseries in love and life. An introvert, trying to live her life outside her box. And a hopeless romantic who would do
anything for her real prince charming. Ü Follow me?
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68 Days and counting. :(
It's been exactly 68 days now since the day we officially broke up and I still really haven't gotten over everything about him. I can still vividly remember his smiles, the way he teases me whenever we're together. I can still remember the way he hold my hands, the way he touches me. I can still remember the love he used to give me, the care and all the support and inspiration he've always shown and served me. I miss him. I really do. I miss the times when he tells me he'll never leave me and the times when he tells me we're gonna be together as we get older. I was not really ready for everything that happened to us. I was never aware that all the "I love yous" he used to tell me were already slowly "dying" and now, were already gone - forever. Now, all I can do is to face the truth. The truth that will never be changed and will forever hurt me. I must accept that what we had before is now just part of some memories. Memories that were once nice, but will forever stay the same unless I ride a time machine - just memories. I just wish that someday I'll get to be over him, over him totally that neither his face nor his name can make me again feel the way when he left me.
Naasar ako.
Nakakaasar talaga yung mga taong napakawalang kwenta. Oo, alam ko wala rin akong kwenta pero mas lalu sya! Ewan ko ba. Bakit mei mga taong ganun na nageexist sa mundong to? Sila na nga yung mei nagawang kasalanan sayo, sila pa mei ganang maging ganun. Hindi ba pwede for once, maging mabait naman sya sa taong yun? Pakshet. Napakadamot! Hinhingi ka lang ng tulong, magdadamot pa! Buti sana kung marami rin syang problema sa mundo at wala ka nang pwesto para makasingit pa. Pero nde eh! Ang sama lang kasi MASAYA na nga sya sa buhay nya eh mang-iinggit pa sya. Tapos sya pa yung mei ganang magalit sa ibang tao na concerned lang naman. Ang LABO talaga. Super hindi ko na sya kilala. I mean, super duper pala. Ganun lang ba sya talaga? Or naging ganun lang sya? Di ba if ayaw naman nya talagang tumulong, pwede nyang sabihin ng deretso? Kailangang pang gumanun! Grabe talaga! He's getting into my nerves again! GRRR.
Pano?
Wednesday, June 24, 2009 | Time: Wednesday, June 24, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
Panu nkung suddenly ayoko na? Hindi ko gusto eh.Nararamdaman kong nde ako magiging masaya. Mei karapatan ba akong umayaw kahit nde ko pa naman masyado nattry? Ayoko na talaga eh. Mali ba yun? Panu kung wala ng chance for escape next time? Panu kung eto na yung one and only chance?? Anung dapat kong gawin??
First Afternoon at Work: Petix.
First day at work? Okay. So far. Wala kasi akong ginawa kundi tumunganga. Hahaha pero finally, alam ko na rin kung anong title ko sa school na yun. Hahaha kawawa naman kasi ako eh. :p I am the new "Disciplinary Officer" of Gideon Academy, Pasay City. Wahahahaha Ang kulit lang kasi I am pretending na mei alam ako sa pagdidisiplina. Hahaha joke! Pero siguro naman nu magagawa ko yun. Sus para san pa at mei handbook? Hehehe Nalaman ko din na in-charge din ako ng student attendance tsaka ng student activities. In-charge din daw ako ng Career Orientation ng mga senior students dun. Just like ng work ko sa Guidance sa ECS before. Pati ata sa Lost and Found, involve ako eh. Hahaha and para sa first case ko: The "Lost Two-Pesos" Case. Hahahaha eh kasi naman mei nagsurrender ba naman ng P2 sa office and syempre, sakin dineretso. Goodluck naman di ba? LOL. Mei babawi pa ba nung P2 na yun? Hahahahaha :)) Para lang akong ewan dun kasi wala talaga akong ginagawa eh. Nakakahiya nga kasi kahit mei gusto akong gawin, hindi ko naman alam kung anu ba dapat. Hehe petix lang tuloy ako. :) Nakakalungkot din kasi wala akong sariling office. :( I am with different people: nurse, registrar, HR at kung sinu sinu pa. Hindi ko nga din matandaan mga names nung mga tao dun eh. Two people lang ata alam ko. Hehe Hindi ko pa rin nalilibot yung buong place. Haayz. Wala akong kaalam-alam. Kahit san, Loser! Hahaha :)) Kaya goodluck sakin sa mga susunod na days. Sana lang mei mag-orient sakin about the place. :( Ayoko nang magmukhang tanga eh. Saklap. After work, nag-meet kami ni Sir Greg sa ECS. Hehe Buti na lang nakita ko mga fave students ko. I really miss them. :'( I think mapapadalas ako sa ECS since on the way sya from Pasay eh. Ehehe :)) 
New Work.
Tomorrow, I'm gonna be starting in my new work na in a Chinese-Christian school (I think) in Pasay City. Actually, I really don't know what my work's gonna be. Haha I was just asked if it's okay for me to work and be placed in the discipline stuffs of the students there. And of course I agreed! Hehe rather than becoming a pre-school teacher, which was really the one I've applied for, mas gusto ko naman yung sa discipline part nu! Kahit pa I'm not really good at that. Hehe tsaka at least, it's nearer sa work ng GC. I'm okay na with that. :) pero till now, I don't know anything pa din about my work except for that. Haha I'm really a loser! :)) eh kasi naman, things happened so fast eh.As in F-A-S-T. I applied there kasi Monday morning through Jobstreet. The same morning din they texted that I must go there the next day at 8:30am. I went there Tuesday with matching "harassed" look pa cause it was really raining hard that time tsaka wala naman akong alam dun sa place na yun eh. :) pagdating ko, I was asked to take a short exam about English and Math. First question pa lang natawa and napaisip na ako kung what position ba talaga yung inapplyan ko. Panu ba naman kasi, the questions were like, "What is a simple sentence?", "Give an example of a simple sentence and give its parts.", "Give one example for each: Regular verb, Transitive verb, Article, bla bla bla" Anu bang inapplyan ko? English teacher? Alam ko kasi pre-school eh. LOL. Then I was interviewed. The interview was not really an interview eh. It was more of a kumustahan-slash-kwentuhan since the one who interviewed me was the professor pala of my former professor in Psychology. Hahaha what a lucky day! :)) We talked about the old professors in UST and something about Rorshach Inkblot Test. Goodluck naman di ba? Hehehe anu namang kinalaman nun sa inaapplyan ko? Then biglang sinabi nung naginterview na full na daw yung position ng pre-school teacher. Huwaat?! Panu na ako? Pero bigla syang tumayo at pumunta dun sa inner room nung office. Then pagbalik nya, she asked if okay lang daw ba sakin kung dun ako sa Discipline ilagay kasi daw biglaan na mei nagresign ata. Ayun. Nirefer na nya ako sa other employees para daw makapagpaphysical exam na ako. Binigyan na rin ako ng list ng requirements ng "newly hired employees". Na-schock ako kasi super bilis eh. Biglang okay na. Hehehe I was hired because I came from the Pontifical and Royal Catholic University of the Philippines. :)) After that hindi ko pa rin sya sineryoso agad. I mean, hindi muna rin ako umasa kasi ilang times na nangyari sakin yun eh. Ayoko lang na madisappoint ulit kasi masakit. Hahaha :)) Pati ba naman dito? LOL.Then nung Friday afternoon, I went there again with Pao, para magsubmit na nung requirements. Sinabi nila na magstart na daw ako ng Monday PM. Pagkakuha ko nung NBI clearance ko, pwede na akong pumasok. :) *Sana nga tuloy tuloy na to. :)*
Sad Love Quotes.
::Sad Love Quotes::
Before anything else, I am so NOT an EMO. Okay? :)
I just enjoyed reading them. Ahaha :))
Just read if you want...
Or if you can relate.
LOLz.
"You hurt me more than I deserve, how can you be so cruel? I love you more than you deserve, why am I such a fool?"
"The hardest to do is waking up without you."
"He taught me how to love, but not how to stop"
"True love is when you shed a tear and still want him" "The times we were happy together are worth the times I cry alone" "Real loss only occurs when you lose something you love more than yourself" "Loving you was my favorite mistake" "Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, Pain of love lasts a lifetime" "The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else" "I'm afraid to love afraid to love so fast, because every time I fall in love it never seems to last" "Its hard to pretend you love someone when you don't but its harder to pretend that you don't love someone when you really do" "The worst feeling in the world is giving all the love you have and knowing it will never be returned" "I gave you everything but it wasn't enough to make you stay" "I hate you and everything we once were" "A million words would not bring you back, I know because I tried, neither would a million tears, I know because I cried" "My heart was taken by you, broken by you and now it's in pieces because of you" "Why did I fall for you when you just keep falling for her?" "Paano kung makasakay mo sa jeep yung taong mahal mo kasama yung girlfriend niya? anong gagawin mo? ako.. hahawakan ko yung kamay niya at ibibigay ko dun sa girl na mahal nia at sasabihing.. ingatan mo siya.. love ko yan e? sabay "Para!"
"I asked God bakit masakit magmahal? Di nya ko sinagot, tumulo luha ko. Alam mo ba.. He shows me a sign.. the tears. Sabay sabi "hangga't may luha masarap magmahal.. kasi totoo" "My friend asked me,"mahal mo pa ba?" Then i replied, "sobra..." They asked me again, "ba't di mo ipaglaban?" I just whispered, "masaya na sya, guguluhin ko pa ba?"
"Alala mo dati, dba umiyak ako..sabi mo.. "tama na..andito naman ako..hindi kita iiwan.."
ngayon umiiyak nanaman ako.. sabi mo.. "tama na.. ..makakalimutan mo rin ako.."
"Pangako ko sa sarili ko na hinding hindi kita pababayaan.. hinding hindi kita iiwan.. pero paano ba yan, ikaw ang nagsabing umalis na ako. anong gagawin ko?? tuparin ang pangako ko ... o sundin ang gusto mo?"
"Di madaling maghintay... di rin biro ang magmahal... minsan kala mo "SYA NA"... minsan kala mo ok na... pero mamamalayan mo na lng... dumaan lng pala sya sa buhay mo para saktan ka!"
"Masakit magmahal pag binigay mo lahat... kahit alam mo walang darating na kapalit... pero mas masakit magmahal pag pinaasa ka nya na mahal ka nya tapos sasabihin syo na... "SORRY, YOKO NA..."
"Diba masakit pag iniwan ka? diba masakit pag niloko ka?? diba masakit pag pinaasa ka? pero diba masa masakit pag pinaniwala ka na mahal ka niya kahit na.... may mahal pala siyang iba."
"Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na lilimutin na kita pinilit ko masakit ginawa ko mahirap ano gagawin ko?? tumakbo? magtago? saan? maliit lang mundo ko... umiikot lang sayo."
"Mahirap makipaglaban sa bagay na lam mong talo ka, wla kang magawa kundi hayaan na lang, tumahimik, hanggang ilayo sau ang taong pnkmamahal mo. Dun mo maiicp... "sna di ko n lang cia nakilala, di sana ko nahihirapan ng ganito..."
"Gusto kta mkta kso bka sbhn m "wag na" gs2 kta mkausp, bk nmn sbhn m "saka na" gs2 k sbhn syo mhal prn kta kso bka isgot mo, "Ako hndi na!"
"Simple lang ang pangarap ko sa buhay ang makasama ka, alagaan ka, mahalin ka..habang minamahal mo rin ako.. simple nga...IMPOSIBLE NAMAN.."
"Kapag pinagpalit ka ng mahal mo sa panget. Mahal nya tlaga yun, kaya mag-MOVE ON ka nalang.." (LOLz.)
"Alam mo ba na sa tuwing maiisip kong malungkot siya, gusto ko siyang lapitan, yakapin nang sobrang higpit at sabihing "nandito lang ako" kaso hindi ko magawa kasi ang alam ko, "di naman ako ang kailangan niya.."
"Kapag cnayang ng 1 tao ang pagmamahal mo, xempre ayaw mo na.. pro bakit pag my dumating n iba di natin maibigay ang lahat? dhil b takot k na? o may naiwan p rin s puso mo pra s kanya?"
"Noon minahal ka niya. Akala mo forever pero iniwan ka rin niya. Pinipilit mong ibalik ang noon pero hindi mo kaya. Sino ngayun ang manhid? Siya dahil hindi niya maramdamang mahal mo siya? O ikaw kasi hindi mo matanggap na ayaw na niya?""Bakit kung kailan natuto akong maghintay hindi ka dumating? bakit kung kailan natuto akong magtiis dun ka sumuko? bakit kung kailan natutunan kitang mahalin dun ka lumayo, bakit kung kailan mahal na kita saka ka nagmahal ng iba?"
"Lam mO hrap pag nwala ung mhal mo.. nakakalungkot, masakit,nakakamiss.. bkt ganun noh? Pgkatapos ng saya ddting din ung time na iiwan ka nia.. dun pa sa part na sobrang mahal mo na siya.." "Biniro kita, ginago mo ko. Nasaktan kita, tinarantado mo ko. Sa lahat ng ginawa ko, mas matindi ang ganti mo. Kaya ngayon, tanong ko lang. Bakit di mo pinantayan ang ginawa ko nung mahalin kita ng todo-todo?" "Db lammo na mhalaga ka sakin? at kelangan kta? lammo rin na masaya ako pag and2 ka? at mas lalaong lammo na mhal na mhal kita?alam mo nmn pla eh...bket nagmahal ka pa ng iba?""Nang iwan moko, nsaktan ako ng sobra.. umiyak ng grabe.. pero habang tumatagal.. unti-unti kong nkikita.. khit msakit tanggapin, ms mganda pla ang buhay ko kapag wla ka sa piling ko...""MahaL na mahaL co siya.. kaya napagicpicp co na mkipagbaLikan sa knya.. nang nasabi co na ang lahat-lahat.. siya'y lumapit sa kin at niyakap ako ng mhigpit... at sinabing.. "sorry.. ayoko na."
*Ang dami pa... Tinatamad lang ako magcopy-paste. Hehehe Part 2 na lang next time. :)*
June 17, 2009: A Super Tiring Day.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009 | Time: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
June 17, 2009 *Alcohol...Blood... Waah* LOLz.  *First time...*What a tiring day with my Mom. First stop: my physical examination at UN Ave., Manila; Second: applied for a police clearance at MPD Headquarters, still at UN Ave.; had our lunch at Wendy's at SM Manila; Third: went to SSS to get my statement of account; Fourth: applied for an NBI clearance at Sta. Cruz, Manila; Fifth: went to SSS at Recto; Sixth: returned to MPD Headquarters to claim the police clearance; Seventh: went to the travel agency for my Mom's passport. Grabe. Umuulan-ulan pa nyan ah tas isa lang yung payong namin. Wahaha ayan tuloy, sipon inabot ko. Hehe pero happy kasi at least nde ako natakot masyado nung kinuhanan ako ng dugo para sa physical exam. Haha saklap kasi duwag eh. LOLz. Tsaka nagfoddtrip kami before umuwi - kwek kwek and squid balls! Haha namiss ko yun. Tagal ko ring nde nakakain nun eh. Kasi naman, pinagbawal ng iba dun. Wahaha anyways, super naging magastos and nakakapagod yung araw na yun. Kaya sana naman.... Hehehe
Afternoon with my loves :)
 *Chowking Moments with Ma'am Doris* (Aww, I so miss these times...)Finally, nakadalaw din ako sa ECS. I have no plans of going there really this week but since I already need to get my certificate of employment, I've decided to visit na din. I really miss the environment and the people there especially my former students. Hindi naman ako nabigo, I was able to see most of them cause I arrived there at exactly four pm, right in time for their dismissal. Pero there's one thing that made me sad when I went there kanina. I felt kasi na I am now welcome there anymore (not with my students but with my co-teachers). I'm not wondering naman kasi things were not really okay among us before. It's just sad that I was not able to show them na hindi naman ako ganun "kasama" na iniisip nila or maybe hindi naman kasi talaga ako masama. Siguro things like those were just really meant to happen. Anyway, past na yun. :) Basta, overall, I was happy kasi I was able to see the people who I love and I was also able to bond with Ma'am Doris dun sa fave place namin nuon - Chowking! :) She treated me with our favorite Pork Chao Fan. Hahaha I really miss those times! Chowking Moments. LOLz.
Sabi ni BFF...
Sabi ni BFF: "Wag na kasing maghintay eh. Kukutusan kita." Awwts naman. Bakit ganun? Kailangan ba talaga mei kasama pang kutos? Hahaha okay na sana yung advice eh, mei dagdag pa sa huli. Saklap naman. Huhu
I love this! :))
I love this survey. Hahaha :))
Grabbed from Meg. :)
Your Best Girl Friend:
Name: Myra PIli.
Age: 21.
When did you meet? Since birth. haha
What is her best quality? She's caring and she's always concerned about me. :)
What is her worst quality? She loves to tease people. Hahaha peace girl!
What color hair does she have? Brown.
What color eyes does she have? I don't know. Loser.
Have you ever made plans to live together? No.
Is she dating anyone? Yes.
Is she more funny or serious? Funny.
Do you honestly think you'll be friends forever? Yeah.
Are you the type of friends that stay up all night talking about boys? Yes. Haha :)
What's her favorite food? Madami eh. Matakaw kasi. LOL.
Have you ever kissed her? Yes. :)
Do you love her? Of course!
When's the next time you'll see her? I don't know.
How often do you talk to her? Almost everyday. :)
Someone Who Is No Longer Your Friend:
Name: Secret. :))
Age: 21.
Male or female? Female.
When did you meet? College.
Do you regret meeting? No. Of course not.
Who ended the friendship? No one, really. It just happened.
What is their best quality? She's a good friend. Haha
What is their worst quality? Self-centered? LOL.
Do you have any mutual friends? Yes.
Do you openly hate on each other or ignore each other? Not really.
Would you ever consider being friends with them again? Yeah, why not?
Do they spread rumors about you? No.
Do you spread rumors about them? No.
Are you more mad or sad about this friendship ending? Sad. :(
Your Best Guy Friend:
Name: Roby Jason Taruc.
Age: 21.
When did you meet? High School, 2001.
What is his best quality? He`s always there for you. :)
What is his worst quality? Mapang-asar. Haha
What color hair does he have? Black.
What color eyes does he have? Brown daw eh. Hehe
Does he make you laugh? Yes, so much. :)
What is his favorite band? Ewan. Madami yun for sure. Haha
Have you ever been really angry at him? When? Not yet.
Has he ever been really angry at you? When? Nde naman.
Do you go to school together? Before. When we were still in High School.
How far have/would you go with him? Haha no comment. :)
Do you love him? Yes. I do. :)
What would you label him if you HAD to? "Adik." Haha lahat naman eh. :))
What is he good at? Everything. Hehe
Your Latest Ex:
Name: Marlon Heredia.
Age: 22.
What is their best quality? He's kind. In the past. Haha
What is their worst quality? He tends to easily give up, sometimes.
What color hair do they have? Black.
What color eyes do they have? I can't remember, honestly. :)
Who broke up with who? I don't know really. Hahaha
Why did you break up? Because he does not love me anymore. Loser eh. :(
Do you still get along? I can't say. I really don't know. We're civil.
Is it awkward to be around them? Yes. At present.
Do you still have feelings for them? I don't know. Haha
Do they still have feelings for you? Of course, wala na. Haha what a question?!
Are they dating someone else yet? Yeah. He does.
Would you ever get back together with them? No comment. LOL. :))
Case closed LOL.
Last midnight, or should I say, this early morning, I had the chance to talk with my long time high school friend and classmate. It was a chance that made us settle everything we've had before, 7 years ago. Things are better off this way. And that makes me so much happier. I've loved him. I always do. And that love will never gonna fade away. That loved served alot for us. Through that love, we were able to know each other better, even if that love was never mutual. That love brought us to the maturity we have now as individual persons. And that love was also the reason why we are still together as good friends. But sometimes, you just have to face the reality that things are really not meant to happen. Sometimes, you just have to accept that some things are not meant for you to have and that you really have to be hurt, you have to stumble and fall - alot of times. Its also just that things will be alot more better as time goes by. In God's perfect time. * I love my BFF so much. I'll never let him be replaced by anything in this world. *
Time flies so fast and you have to face it.
Here I am again, nakatitig sa harap ng PC and until now, nashoshock pa rin sa lahat lahat ng mga nangyayari sakin. Narealize ko lang, ang bilis ng oras. One time you're up, then all of a sudden, you're falling or malala, you're down, kissing the floor. Just like me, about a year ago, ok ako. I was so happy. I felt content, blessed and lucky with what my life was going through. Then suddenly, when I woke up, I just saw myself in this state - so down, alone, hopeless. My life became a total mess because of that mistake I think I am going to regret all my life. Just because I was weaker than I ever thought of. Ang saklap lang to realize na there's no more escape from everything that's happening. That you have no choice but to face each day, try to be alot stronger than you used to and be more patient and humble about everything around you.
Everything happens for a reason. And I am believing that. Sana lang that reason will show up this time when I mostly need it.
*sigh*
...
I used to hate admitting having regrets in life. The worse is sometimes, I used to deny having one. Until last night when I was doing some sort of "self-assessment", I realized that my life is yes, sadly yes, full of these kinds of things.
Having regrets is one of the reasons why most people tend to be stuck with what they are experiencing in life. And like them, I am also one of the many who tries to repress whatever mistakes she had made in her life. I must admit that I used to do this kind of defense mechanism just to escape every problem I have encountered especially lately, when things suddenly changed for me.
Stuck.
I used to hate admitting having regrets in life. The worse is sometimes, I used to deny having one. Until last night when I was doing some sort of "self-assessment", I realized that my life is yes, sadly yes, full of these kinds of things. Having regrets is one of the reasons why most people tend to be stuck with what they are experiencing in life. And like them, I am also one of the many who tries to repress whatever mistakes she had made in life. I must admit that I used to do this kind of defense mechanism just to escape every problem I have encountered especially lately, when things "suddenly" changed for me. As of now, I still haven't started any of the "new" plans I've made almost 2 months ago, when everything was against me. (How sad, really.) Like totally forgetting everything between us and trying to be better than before. I've been stuck "here" for some time now and I still don't know when will I be having that motivation to move forward. Yeah. Yeah. I know it's all my fault! Everything is my fault. That's why I must be responsible. And sadly, I am also solely the victim of that "everything" whether it was a good thing. I must really really accept that life is effing unfair than it should be, well at least, for me. After all of the "trials" I've been through these past few months, I can say that I am so much excited than before to wake up each day and face the future. I still feel unequipped in everything and I still feel so anxious about whatever may happen but I am still looking forward to those times when I can prove to myself - most especially - who I really am. * I will still be going with the flow but I am stronger than before. :) *
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68 Days and counting. :(
It's been exactly 68 days now since the day we officially broke up and I still really haven't gotten over everything about him. I can still vividly remember his smiles, the way he teases me whenever we're together. I can still remember the way he hold my hands, the way he touches me. I can still remember the love he used to give me, the care and all the support and inspiration he've always shown and served me. I miss him. I really do. I miss the times when he tells me he'll never leave me and the times when he tells me we're gonna be together as we get older. I was not really ready for everything that happened to us. I was never aware that all the "I love yous" he used to tell me were already slowly "dying" and now, were already gone - forever. Now, all I can do is to face the truth. The truth that will never be changed and will forever hurt me. I must accept that what we had before is now just part of some memories. Memories that were once nice, but will forever stay the same unless I ride a time machine - just memories. I just wish that someday I'll get to be over him, over him totally that neither his face nor his name can make me again feel the way when he left me.
Naasar ako.
Nakakaasar talaga yung mga taong napakawalang kwenta. Oo, alam ko wala rin akong kwenta pero mas lalu sya! Ewan ko ba. Bakit mei mga taong ganun na nageexist sa mundong to? Sila na nga yung mei nagawang kasalanan sayo, sila pa mei ganang maging ganun. Hindi ba pwede for once, maging mabait naman sya sa taong yun? Pakshet. Napakadamot! Hinhingi ka lang ng tulong, magdadamot pa! Buti sana kung marami rin syang problema sa mundo at wala ka nang pwesto para makasingit pa. Pero nde eh! Ang sama lang kasi MASAYA na nga sya sa buhay nya eh mang-iinggit pa sya. Tapos sya pa yung mei ganang magalit sa ibang tao na concerned lang naman. Ang LABO talaga. Super hindi ko na sya kilala. I mean, super duper pala. Ganun lang ba sya talaga? Or naging ganun lang sya? Di ba if ayaw naman nya talagang tumulong, pwede nyang sabihin ng deretso? Kailangang pang gumanun! Grabe talaga! He's getting into my nerves again! GRRR.
Pano?
Wednesday, June 24, 2009 | Time: Wednesday, June 24, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
Panu nkung suddenly ayoko na? Hindi ko gusto eh.Nararamdaman kong nde ako magiging masaya. Mei karapatan ba akong umayaw kahit nde ko pa naman masyado nattry? Ayoko na talaga eh. Mali ba yun? Panu kung wala ng chance for escape next time? Panu kung eto na yung one and only chance?? Anung dapat kong gawin??
First Afternoon at Work: Petix.
First day at work? Okay. So far. Wala kasi akong ginawa kundi tumunganga. Hahaha pero finally, alam ko na rin kung anong title ko sa school na yun. Hahaha kawawa naman kasi ako eh. :p I am the new "Disciplinary Officer" of Gideon Academy, Pasay City. Wahahahaha Ang kulit lang kasi I am pretending na mei alam ako sa pagdidisiplina. Hahaha joke! Pero siguro naman nu magagawa ko yun. Sus para san pa at mei handbook? Hehehe Nalaman ko din na in-charge din ako ng student attendance tsaka ng student activities. In-charge din daw ako ng Career Orientation ng mga senior students dun. Just like ng work ko sa Guidance sa ECS before. Pati ata sa Lost and Found, involve ako eh. Hahaha and para sa first case ko: The "Lost Two-Pesos" Case. Hahahaha eh kasi naman mei nagsurrender ba naman ng P2 sa office and syempre, sakin dineretso. Goodluck naman di ba? LOL. Mei babawi pa ba nung P2 na yun? Hahahahaha :)) Para lang akong ewan dun kasi wala talaga akong ginagawa eh. Nakakahiya nga kasi kahit mei gusto akong gawin, hindi ko naman alam kung anu ba dapat. Hehe petix lang tuloy ako. :) Nakakalungkot din kasi wala akong sariling office. :( I am with different people: nurse, registrar, HR at kung sinu sinu pa. Hindi ko nga din matandaan mga names nung mga tao dun eh. Two people lang ata alam ko. Hehe Hindi ko pa rin nalilibot yung buong place. Haayz. Wala akong kaalam-alam. Kahit san, Loser! Hahaha :)) Kaya goodluck sakin sa mga susunod na days. Sana lang mei mag-orient sakin about the place. :( Ayoko nang magmukhang tanga eh. Saklap. After work, nag-meet kami ni Sir Greg sa ECS. Hehe Buti na lang nakita ko mga fave students ko. I really miss them. :'( I think mapapadalas ako sa ECS since on the way sya from Pasay eh. Ehehe :))
New Work.
Tomorrow, I'm gonna be starting in my new work na in a Chinese-Christian school (I think) in Pasay City. Actually, I really don't know what my work's gonna be. Haha I was just asked if it's okay for me to work and be placed in the discipline stuffs of the students there. And of course I agreed! Hehe rather than becoming a pre-school teacher, which was really the one I've applied for, mas gusto ko naman yung sa discipline part nu! Kahit pa I'm not really good at that. Hehe tsaka at least, it's nearer sa work ng GC. I'm okay na with that. :) pero till now, I don't know anything pa din about my work except for that. Haha I'm really a loser! :)) eh kasi naman, things happened so fast eh.As in F-A-S-T. I applied there kasi Monday morning through Jobstreet. The same morning din they texted that I must go there the next day at 8:30am. I went there Tuesday with matching "harassed" look pa cause it was really raining hard that time tsaka wala naman akong alam dun sa place na yun eh. :) pagdating ko, I was asked to take a short exam about English and Math. First question pa lang natawa and napaisip na ako kung what position ba talaga yung inapplyan ko. Panu ba naman kasi, the questions were like, "What is a simple sentence?", "Give an example of a simple sentence and give its parts.", "Give one example for each: Regular verb, Transitive verb, Article, bla bla bla" Anu bang inapplyan ko? English teacher? Alam ko kasi pre-school eh. LOL. Then I was interviewed. The interview was not really an interview eh. It was more of a kumustahan-slash-kwentuhan since the one who interviewed me was the professor pala of my former professor in Psychology. Hahaha what a lucky day! :)) We talked about the old professors in UST and something about Rorshach Inkblot Test. Goodluck naman di ba? Hehehe anu namang kinalaman nun sa inaapplyan ko? Then biglang sinabi nung naginterview na full na daw yung position ng pre-school teacher. Huwaat?! Panu na ako? Pero bigla syang tumayo at pumunta dun sa inner room nung office. Then pagbalik nya, she asked if okay lang daw ba sakin kung dun ako sa Discipline ilagay kasi daw biglaan na mei nagresign ata. Ayun. Nirefer na nya ako sa other employees para daw makapagpaphysical exam na ako. Binigyan na rin ako ng list ng requirements ng "newly hired employees". Na-schock ako kasi super bilis eh. Biglang okay na. Hehehe I was hired because I came from the Pontifical and Royal Catholic University of the Philippines. :)) After that hindi ko pa rin sya sineryoso agad. I mean, hindi muna rin ako umasa kasi ilang times na nangyari sakin yun eh. Ayoko lang na madisappoint ulit kasi masakit. Hahaha :)) Pati ba naman dito? LOL.Then nung Friday afternoon, I went there again with Pao, para magsubmit na nung requirements. Sinabi nila na magstart na daw ako ng Monday PM. Pagkakuha ko nung NBI clearance ko, pwede na akong pumasok. :) *Sana nga tuloy tuloy na to. :)*
Sad Love Quotes.
::Sad Love Quotes::
Before anything else, I am so NOT an EMO. Okay? :)
I just enjoyed reading them. Ahaha :))
Just read if you want...
Or if you can relate.
LOLz.
"You hurt me more than I deserve, how can you be so cruel? I love you more than you deserve, why am I such a fool?"
"The hardest to do is waking up without you."
"He taught me how to love, but not how to stop"
"True love is when you shed a tear and still want him" "The times we were happy together are worth the times I cry alone" "Real loss only occurs when you lose something you love more than yourself" "Loving you was my favorite mistake" "Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, Pain of love lasts a lifetime" "The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else" "I'm afraid to love afraid to love so fast, because every time I fall in love it never seems to last" "Its hard to pretend you love someone when you don't but its harder to pretend that you don't love someone when you really do" "The worst feeling in the world is giving all the love you have and knowing it will never be returned" "I gave you everything but it wasn't enough to make you stay" "I hate you and everything we once were" "A million words would not bring you back, I know because I tried, neither would a million tears, I know because I cried" "My heart was taken by you, broken by you and now it's in pieces because of you" "Why did I fall for you when you just keep falling for her?" "Paano kung makasakay mo sa jeep yung taong mahal mo kasama yung girlfriend niya? anong gagawin mo? ako.. hahawakan ko yung kamay niya at ibibigay ko dun sa girl na mahal nia at sasabihing.. ingatan mo siya.. love ko yan e? sabay "Para!"
"I asked God bakit masakit magmahal? Di nya ko sinagot, tumulo luha ko. Alam mo ba.. He shows me a sign.. the tears. Sabay sabi "hangga't may luha masarap magmahal.. kasi totoo" "My friend asked me,"mahal mo pa ba?" Then i replied, "sobra..." They asked me again, "ba't di mo ipaglaban?" I just whispered, "masaya na sya, guguluhin ko pa ba?"
"Alala mo dati, dba umiyak ako..sabi mo.. "tama na..andito naman ako..hindi kita iiwan.."
ngayon umiiyak nanaman ako.. sabi mo.. "tama na.. ..makakalimutan mo rin ako.."
"Pangako ko sa sarili ko na hinding hindi kita pababayaan.. hinding hindi kita iiwan.. pero paano ba yan, ikaw ang nagsabing umalis na ako. anong gagawin ko?? tuparin ang pangako ko ... o sundin ang gusto mo?"
"Di madaling maghintay... di rin biro ang magmahal... minsan kala mo "SYA NA"... minsan kala mo ok na... pero mamamalayan mo na lng... dumaan lng pala sya sa buhay mo para saktan ka!"
"Masakit magmahal pag binigay mo lahat... kahit alam mo walang darating na kapalit... pero mas masakit magmahal pag pinaasa ka nya na mahal ka nya tapos sasabihin syo na... "SORRY, YOKO NA..."
"Diba masakit pag iniwan ka? diba masakit pag niloko ka?? diba masakit pag pinaasa ka? pero diba masa masakit pag pinaniwala ka na mahal ka niya kahit na.... may mahal pala siyang iba."
"Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na lilimutin na kita pinilit ko masakit ginawa ko mahirap ano gagawin ko?? tumakbo? magtago? saan? maliit lang mundo ko... umiikot lang sayo."
"Mahirap makipaglaban sa bagay na lam mong talo ka, wla kang magawa kundi hayaan na lang, tumahimik, hanggang ilayo sau ang taong pnkmamahal mo. Dun mo maiicp... "sna di ko n lang cia nakilala, di sana ko nahihirapan ng ganito..."
"Gusto kta mkta kso bka sbhn m "wag na" gs2 kta mkausp, bk nmn sbhn m "saka na" gs2 k sbhn syo mhal prn kta kso bka isgot mo, "Ako hndi na!"
"Simple lang ang pangarap ko sa buhay ang makasama ka, alagaan ka, mahalin ka..habang minamahal mo rin ako.. simple nga...IMPOSIBLE NAMAN.."
"Kapag pinagpalit ka ng mahal mo sa panget. Mahal nya tlaga yun, kaya mag-MOVE ON ka nalang.." (LOLz.)
"Alam mo ba na sa tuwing maiisip kong malungkot siya, gusto ko siyang lapitan, yakapin nang sobrang higpit at sabihing "nandito lang ako" kaso hindi ko magawa kasi ang alam ko, "di naman ako ang kailangan niya.."
"Kapag cnayang ng 1 tao ang pagmamahal mo, xempre ayaw mo na.. pro bakit pag my dumating n iba di natin maibigay ang lahat? dhil b takot k na? o may naiwan p rin s puso mo pra s kanya?"
"Noon minahal ka niya. Akala mo forever pero iniwan ka rin niya. Pinipilit mong ibalik ang noon pero hindi mo kaya. Sino ngayun ang manhid? Siya dahil hindi niya maramdamang mahal mo siya? O ikaw kasi hindi mo matanggap na ayaw na niya?""Bakit kung kailan natuto akong maghintay hindi ka dumating? bakit kung kailan natuto akong magtiis dun ka sumuko? bakit kung kailan natutunan kitang mahalin dun ka lumayo, bakit kung kailan mahal na kita saka ka nagmahal ng iba?"
"Lam mO hrap pag nwala ung mhal mo.. nakakalungkot, masakit,nakakamiss.. bkt ganun noh? Pgkatapos ng saya ddting din ung time na iiwan ka nia.. dun pa sa part na sobrang mahal mo na siya.." "Biniro kita, ginago mo ko. Nasaktan kita, tinarantado mo ko. Sa lahat ng ginawa ko, mas matindi ang ganti mo. Kaya ngayon, tanong ko lang. Bakit di mo pinantayan ang ginawa ko nung mahalin kita ng todo-todo?" "Db lammo na mhalaga ka sakin? at kelangan kta? lammo rin na masaya ako pag and2 ka? at mas lalaong lammo na mhal na mhal kita?alam mo nmn pla eh...bket nagmahal ka pa ng iba?""Nang iwan moko, nsaktan ako ng sobra.. umiyak ng grabe.. pero habang tumatagal.. unti-unti kong nkikita.. khit msakit tanggapin, ms mganda pla ang buhay ko kapag wla ka sa piling ko...""MahaL na mahaL co siya.. kaya napagicpicp co na mkipagbaLikan sa knya.. nang nasabi co na ang lahat-lahat.. siya'y lumapit sa kin at niyakap ako ng mhigpit... at sinabing.. "sorry.. ayoko na."
*Ang dami pa... Tinatamad lang ako magcopy-paste. Hehehe Part 2 na lang next time. :)*
June 17, 2009: A Super Tiring Day.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009 | Time: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
June 17, 2009*Alcohol...Blood... Waah* LOLz. *First time...* What a tiring day with my Mom. First stop: my physical examination at UN Ave., Manila; Second: applied for a police clearance at MPD Headquarters, still at UN Ave.; had our lunch at Wendy's at SM Manila; Third: went to SSS to get my statement of account; Fourth: applied for an NBI clearance at Sta. Cruz, Manila; Fifth: went to SSS at Recto; Sixth: returned to MPD Headquarters to claim the police clearance; Seventh: went to the travel agency for my Mom's passport. Grabe. Umuulan-ulan pa nyan ah tas isa lang yung payong namin. Wahaha ayan tuloy, sipon inabot ko. Hehe pero happy kasi at least nde ako natakot masyado nung kinuhanan ako ng dugo para sa physical exam. Haha saklap kasi duwag eh. LOLz. Tsaka nagfoddtrip kami before umuwi - kwek kwek and squid balls! Haha namiss ko yun. Tagal ko ring nde nakakain nun eh. Kasi naman, pinagbawal ng iba dun. Wahaha anyways, super naging magastos and nakakapagod yung araw na yun. Kaya sana naman.... Hehehe
Afternoon with my loves :)
*Chowking Moments with Ma'am Doris* (Aww, I so miss these times...)Finally, nakadalaw din ako sa ECS. I have no plans of going there really this week but since I already need to get my certificate of employment, I've decided to visit na din. I really miss the environment and the people there especially my former students. Hindi naman ako nabigo, I was able to see most of them cause I arrived there at exactly four pm, right in time for their dismissal. Pero there's one thing that made me sad when I went there kanina. I felt kasi na I am now welcome there anymore (not with my students but with my co-teachers). I'm not wondering naman kasi things were not really okay among us before. It's just sad that I was not able to show them na hindi naman ako ganun "kasama" na iniisip nila or maybe hindi naman kasi talaga ako masama. Siguro things like those were just really meant to happen. Anyway, past na yun. :) Basta, overall, I was happy kasi I was able to see the people who I love and I was also able to bond with Ma'am Doris dun sa fave place namin nuon - Chowking! :) She treated me with our favorite Pork Chao Fan. Hahaha I really miss those times! Chowking Moments. LOLz.
Sabi ni BFF...
Sabi ni BFF: "Wag na kasing maghintay eh. Kukutusan kita." Awwts naman. Bakit ganun? Kailangan ba talaga mei kasama pang kutos? Hahaha okay na sana yung advice eh, mei dagdag pa sa huli. Saklap naman. Huhu
I love this! :))
I love this survey. Hahaha :))
Grabbed from Meg. :)
Your Best Girl Friend:
Name: Myra PIli.
Age: 21.
When did you meet? Since birth. haha
What is her best quality? She's caring and she's always concerned about me. :)
What is her worst quality? She loves to tease people. Hahaha peace girl!
What color hair does she have? Brown.
What color eyes does she have? I don't know. Loser.
Have you ever made plans to live together? No.
Is she dating anyone? Yes.
Is she more funny or serious? Funny.
Do you honestly think you'll be friends forever? Yeah.
Are you the type of friends that stay up all night talking about boys? Yes. Haha :)
What's her favorite food? Madami eh. Matakaw kasi. LOL.
Have you ever kissed her? Yes. :)
Do you love her? Of course!
When's the next time you'll see her? I don't know.
How often do you talk to her? Almost everyday. :)
Someone Who Is No Longer Your Friend:
Name: Secret. :))
Age: 21.
Male or female? Female.
When did you meet? College.
Do you regret meeting? No. Of course not.
Who ended the friendship? No one, really. It just happened.
What is their best quality? She's a good friend. Haha
What is their worst quality? Self-centered? LOL.
Do you have any mutual friends? Yes.
Do you openly hate on each other or ignore each other? Not really.
Would you ever consider being friends with them again? Yeah, why not?
Do they spread rumors about you? No.
Do you spread rumors about them? No.
Are you more mad or sad about this friendship ending? Sad. :(
Your Best Guy Friend:
Name: Roby Jason Taruc.
Age: 21.
When did you meet? High School, 2001.
What is his best quality? He`s always there for you. :)
What is his worst quality? Mapang-asar. Haha
What color hair does he have? Black.
What color eyes does he have? Brown daw eh. Hehe
Does he make you laugh? Yes, so much. :)
What is his favorite band? Ewan. Madami yun for sure. Haha
Have you ever been really angry at him? When? Not yet.
Has he ever been really angry at you? When? Nde naman.
Do you go to school together? Before. When we were still in High School.
How far have/would you go with him? Haha no comment. :)
Do you love him? Yes. I do. :)
What would you label him if you HAD to? "Adik." Haha lahat naman eh. :))
What is he good at? Everything. Hehe
Your Latest Ex:
Name: Marlon Heredia.
Age: 22.
What is their best quality? He's kind. In the past. Haha
What is their worst quality? He tends to easily give up, sometimes.
What color hair do they have? Black.
What color eyes do they have? I can't remember, honestly. :)
Who broke up with who? I don't know really. Hahaha
Why did you break up? Because he does not love me anymore. Loser eh. :(
Do you still get along? I can't say. I really don't know. We're civil.
Is it awkward to be around them? Yes. At present.
Do you still have feelings for them? I don't know. Haha
Do they still have feelings for you? Of course, wala na. Haha what a question?!
Are they dating someone else yet? Yeah. He does.
Would you ever get back together with them? No comment. LOL. :))
Case closed LOL.
Last midnight, or should I say, this early morning, I had the chance to talk with my long time high school friend and classmate. It was a chance that made us settle everything we've had before, 7 years ago. Things are better off this way. And that makes me so much happier. I've loved him. I always do. And that love will never gonna fade away. That loved served alot for us. Through that love, we were able to know each other better, even if that love was never mutual. That love brought us to the maturity we have now as individual persons. And that love was also the reason why we are still together as good friends. But sometimes, you just have to face the reality that things are really not meant to happen. Sometimes, you just have to accept that some things are not meant for you to have and that you really have to be hurt, you have to stumble and fall - alot of times. Its also just that things will be alot more better as time goes by. In God's perfect time. * I love my BFF so much. I'll never let him be replaced by anything in this world. *
Time flies so fast and you have to face it.
Here I am again, nakatitig sa harap ng PC and until now, nashoshock pa rin sa lahat lahat ng mga nangyayari sakin. Narealize ko lang, ang bilis ng oras. One time you're up, then all of a sudden, you're falling or malala, you're down, kissing the floor. Just like me, about a year ago, ok ako. I was so happy. I felt content, blessed and lucky with what my life was going through. Then suddenly, when I woke up, I just saw myself in this state - so down, alone, hopeless. My life became a total mess because of that mistake I think I am going to regret all my life. Just because I was weaker than I ever thought of. Ang saklap lang to realize na there's no more escape from everything that's happening. That you have no choice but to face each day, try to be alot stronger than you used to and be more patient and humble about everything around you.
Everything happens for a reason. And I am believing that. Sana lang that reason will show up this time when I mostly need it.
*sigh*
...
I used to hate admitting having regrets in life. The worse is sometimes, I used to deny having one. Until last night when I was doing some sort of "self-assessment", I realized that my life is yes, sadly yes, full of these kinds of things.
Having regrets is one of the reasons why most people tend to be stuck with what they are experiencing in life. And like them, I am also one of the many who tries to repress whatever mistakes she had made in her life. I must admit that I used to do this kind of defense mechanism just to escape every problem I have encountered especially lately, when things suddenly changed for me.
Stuck.
I used to hate admitting having regrets in life. The worse is sometimes, I used to deny having one. Until last night when I was doing some sort of "self-assessment", I realized that my life is yes, sadly yes, full of these kinds of things. Having regrets is one of the reasons why most people tend to be stuck with what they are experiencing in life. And like them, I am also one of the many who tries to repress whatever mistakes she had made in life. I must admit that I used to do this kind of defense mechanism just to escape every problem I have encountered especially lately, when things "suddenly" changed for me. As of now, I still haven't started any of the "new" plans I've made almost 2 months ago, when everything was against me. (How sad, really.) Like totally forgetting everything between us and trying to be better than before. I've been stuck "here" for some time now and I still don't know when will I be having that motivation to move forward. Yeah. Yeah. I know it's all my fault! Everything is my fault. That's why I must be responsible. And sadly, I am also solely the victim of that "everything" whether it was a good thing. I must really really accept that life is effing unfair than it should be, well at least, for me. After all of the "trials" I've been through these past few months, I can say that I am so much excited than before to wake up each day and face the future. I still feel unequipped in everything and I still feel so anxious about whatever may happen but I am still looking forward to those times when I can prove to myself - most especially - who I really am. * I will still be going with the flow but I am stronger than before. :) *
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