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Yo!
Hello. Welcome to my blog. Read stories about my life
and everything under the sun. This blog is edited by ME. Copyrighted 2009 by misspiggiebanks.blogspot.com .
COPYCATS, Posers and Rippers are not welcome here! Strictly . Please leave a comment and thanks for viewing. Enjoy!
Hello! :)
I'm Richelle Anne de Castro Bartolome, normally called Chelle or Rich.
A 22-year old lady from Sta. Cruz, Manila who loves to express her randomness through her online journal. A Thomasian by heart. A counselor who loves to give advices but finds
it difficult to deal with her own miseries in love and life. An introvert, trying to live her life outside her box. And a hopeless romantic who would do
anything for her real prince charming. Ü Follow me?
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Update update lang. :)
Eh...
What I want for 2012.
Ayun oh.
Random. T____T
Bakit?
Ayoko na.
Mei conclusion ako... :)
Love Letter Technique.
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Credits.
morla | designer
fanny | basecode
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lovecandied, rebecca | material
License.
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3.0 Philippines License.
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*copied* can relate eh. :)
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 | Time: Wednesday, February 25, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
my mind said that there is something wrong.
BUT my heart said that there is NOT.
my mind said that i've done so much
BUT my heart said that it's NOT yet enough.
my mind said that he has changed.
BUT my heart said that NO he is not.
my mind said that "hey!wake up.believe me."
BUT my heart said that "NO.this is reality.believe me."
my mind said that he's doing wrong.
BUT my heart said that NO.just believe him.
and lastly.
my mind said that " i know that you're almost giving up."
BUT my HEART said that "i'm strong. i can still hold on."
why do they make things complicated. x__x
i may not have the softest touch
i may not say the words as such
and though i may not look like much
I'M YOURS
and though my edge is maybe rough
i never feel i'm quite enough
and though I don't fit in that much
BUT I'M YOURS
Help.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009 | Time: Tuesday, February 24, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
Help nyu naman ako. I need ideas para sa prineprepare ko na "something" para sa kanya sana this saturday. Gusto ko kasing makabawi sa kanya. Please. PM nyu lang ako. Ang gusto ko yung romantic na nde masyado maeffort. Hehehe basta, kahit anu. Wala pa kasi talaga akong idea kung panu at anu gagawin ko eh. Thanks.
Ayoko pero gusto ko.
Monday, February 23, 2009 | Time: Monday, February 23, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
Ayokong basta bumitaw. Ayokong basta sumuko. Lalu na ngayun na naplano ko na yung buhay ko kasama sya. Ayokong masayang yung mga bagay na pinagsamahan namin. Ang dami-dami na namin napagdaanan kaya ayokong basta mawala sya. Mahal na mahal ko sya eh. Sobra. Pero kelan? Kelan ako dapat tumigil? Gusto kong magpakamartir. Gusto kong magsakripisyo para sa kanya. Pero hanggang kelan? Hirap na hirap na ako sa sitwasyon eh. Hindi ko alam kung san ko dapat ilugar yung sarili ko. Hindi ko alam kung normal pa ba at kung parte ba talaga ng pagkatao nya yung pinapakita nya sa kin ngayun. Nahihirapan ako. Willing naman akong bumigay sa kanya eh. Na kalimutan yung lahat lahat marinig ko lang sa kanya yung gusto kong marinig. Pero wala. Talagang wala. Gusto kong maging martir tulad nung dati. Pero kahit anung gawin ko, ayaw na ng puso ko. Mahal na mahal ko sya pero hanggang kelan?
Panu ko malalaman?
Sunday, February 22, 2009 | Time: Sunday, February 22, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
Panu ko malalaman kung dapat na naming tigilan to?
Ganito na lang talaga siguro.
Kakahiwalay lang namin. Galing sya dito sa amin and as expected, wala na naman nangyari sa pag-uusap namin. I thought kaya sya pumunta dito ay para mapag-usapan rin kahit papanu yung problema pero I was wrong. Wala na namang nangyari. Actually, nde nga matatawag na pag-uusap yung ginawa namin eh. Para kaming mga tanga sa totoo lang. Ewan ko ba. Kahit anung pilit yung gawin ko, wala eh. Ayaw nya talagang magsalita. Ayaw niyang iopen kung anu yung tumatakbo sa isip nya. Kahit anung pilit ko, wala talaga. Nagagalit pa sya sakin kapag tinatanung ko sya. Ang kulit kulit ko raw. Tinanggap ko na rin eh. Pumayag na ako na bumalik sa dati yung lahat kahit nde naman talaga nasolusyunan yung problema. Ok lang. Kumbaga, "Sige, suko na ako. Hahayaan na lang kita kung ayaw mo, ok lang. Iintindihin ko na lang. Ganun eh. Wala naman akong magagawa pa. Kaya sige. Sige." Pero nung talagang hindi ko kayang hayaan na lang na ganun, tinanung ko ulit sya, nung pinilit ko ulit sya na pag-usapan namin yung problema, wala. Ang sabi ko, "Hahayaan na lang ba natin na ganito to? Na hindi sinusulusyunan yung problema? Ok ka na ba na ganito?" Ang sagot nya sakin, "Oo. Ganito na lang." Nung narinig ko yun, dun ko na talaga naconclude na ganun talaga syang klaseng tao. Na kahit anung gawin ko, ganun na sya eh. Ganun na. Sumakit na naman yung puso ko. Nanikip yung dibdib ko. Gusto kong umiyak pero asa public place kami and for sure, magagalit lalu sya sakin. Sasabihin nya, nagdradrama ako. Hinayaan ko na lang ulit. "Sige, ayaw mo talagang pag-usapan, sige. Ayus lang."
Ok lang naman sakin kung ayaw nya talaga eh pero ang ayoko eh yung magagalit pa sya sakin. Yung ako pa yung magiging masama kasi kinukulit ko sya na magopen sakin. Sige irerespeto ko sya. Pero sana yung respetong yun hindi lalung makasira sa lahat. Ang sakit sakit ng pakiramdam ko ngayun kasi naging ganito yung lahat. Kasi kahit anung gawin ko, wala. Yung tipong "hanging" lang yung sitwasyon. Ang hirap hirap. Mahal ko siya. Mahal na mahal. Pero hindi lang "love" ang kailangan para mag-work out ang isang relationship di ba? Naguguluhan ako. Sobrang naguguluhan.
Tonight.
I remember the times we spent together
on those drives
We had a million questions
all about our lives
and when we got to New York
everything felt right
I wish you were here with me
tonight
I remember the days we spent together
were not enough
and it used to feel like dreamin'
except we always woke up
Never thought not having you
here now would hurt so much
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight
I remember the time you told me about when you were eight
And all those things you said that night that just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
and the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
and stayed out way too late
I remember the time you sat and told me about your Jesus
and how not to look back even if no one believes us
When it hurt so bad sometimes
not having you here...
I sing,
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight
I sing,
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight
I know sometimes it's gonna rain.
Kung kaya mong ipaglaban, ipaglaban mo.
Lahat ng problema, nadadaan sa matinong usapan.
Kung hindi mo na ako mahal, sabihin mo, wag mong iparamdam. Kasi masakit eh.
Bumitaw kapag alam mong wala na talagang pag-asa.
Mabuti pa ata yung ikaw lang yung nagmamahal at hindi ka kilala ng taong mahal mo, at least, mapipigilan mo yung sakit. Ikaw nagdedecide para sa buhay mo eh. Ikaw ang may gawa ng mga prinoproblema mo sa buhay. Kaya kung ayaw mo na, pwedeng pwede. Hindi mo sya kailangang sabihan at kausapin pa. Wala nang problema.
Naiirita ako.
Friday, February 20, 2009 | Time: Friday, February 20, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
Ayan na naman kami, naiirita na naman ako sa kanya. Ewan ko ba. pag nakakaramdam talaga ako ng inis sa kanya, wala, sobrang inis na inis na talaga ako. Kakaibang inis. Yung tipong matagal mawala. Nanggigigil ako sa kanya.
Ang tagal tagal na nang ganitong problema sa min eh pero hanggang ngayun, nandito pa rin. Nde pa rin naaayus. Panu, pag inopen sa kanya, ang dating palaging ako na lang yung masama. Oo nga, mei mali ako sigurado yun, meron. Pero siguro naman, meron rin syang mali dun. Tuwing ioopen ko yung prob.sa kanya, ang lagi nyang sinasabi, ganun sya kaya pasensya na. Puro ang sagot nya, "Ok.", "Sori." Nde na namin napag-uusapan yung problema kasi tuwing ioopen ko, sasabihin nya, hindi ko sya naiintindihan. Tapos pag nageexplain pa ako at naiiyak na ako, hindi na nya ulit ako kakausapin kasi raw ayaw nyang naririnig akong umiiyak. Lalo na pag tungkol sa work nya. Sinasabi nya, akala nya naiintindihan ko sya. Kaya nga ang sagot ko sa kanya lately, "Pagdating sa work mo, hindi na ako papalag." Hindi na, kasi alam kong wala na talaga eh. Ako pa rin yung magiging mali, magtampo man ako o hindi. Ang hirap nung hindi napag-uusapan yung problema kasi nagbuibuild-up lang eh. Hindi nasosolusyunan. Lalo lang lumalala. Nagpapatong-patong. Pero sya, ok lang sa kanya kapag ganun. Basta sa kanya, ayaw nyang pag-usapan pag mei problema. Hindi ko alam kung anung ayaw nyang makinig o anu man kaya ayaw nyang pag-usaoan eh pero mali yun eh. Wala na akong magawa pagdating dun. Lalo lang akong naiirita sa kanya. Hindi ko alam.
Kung kaya ko lang. kung kaya ko lang talaga.. Haayz. :(
Sabi ko na eh.
Thursday, February 19, 2009 | Time: Thursday, February 19, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
Sabi ko na eh. Aaminin ko, nasasaktan ako. Kasi naman kahit pilit kong pinapaniwala yung sarili ko na hindi ako aasa, alam ko, deep inside, umasa pa rin ako. Nangyari na naman yung dati eh. Ang hirap hirap umasa sa wala. Yung tipong bibigyan ka ng chance tapos hindi naman pala matutuloy. Yung papatikimin ka ng ganito tapos talagang tikim lang pala. Yung paghihirapan mo, magpapakapagod ka pero wala naman palang mangyayari. Naalala ko lang yung walang kamatayang linya ni Roby, "Wag kang maghintay para walang expectations." Tama nga naman. Wag na lang maghintay para nde masakit sa dulo, pero kaya ba yun? Parang ang hirap naman atang pangatawanan nun. Kasi kahit anung pilit mo na hindi umasa kapag pinapatikim sayo yung mga posibilidad, wala. Malulunod at malulunod ka na talaga. Sana na lang sa mga susunod na experiences ko sa buhay, matutunan ko na talagang hindi umasa para hindi na ko masaktan. :(
v-day na nakakaguilty. :(
Monday, February 16, 2009 | Time: Monday, February 16, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
Last Feb. 14 dateless talaga ako. Nakakalungkot lang kasi napaisip ako bout dun sa mga dati eh. Nung wala pa kong bf, tuwing dadating yung v-day, para syang isang big day na winiwish ko na sana maexperience ko rin pero ngayun iba na eh. Hindi naman sa dapat talaga mei date sa day na yun or what. Wala lang. Syempre, Valentine's nga eh. Hehe
Nakakaguilty lang yung last v-day kasi naman, nahuli sya ng pulis sa pagddrive ng motor nya tapos nakuha pa yung license nya. :( Pinadaan ko kasi sya sa house sa Laguna after ng work nya ng 10:00 pm tapos imbis na saglit lang sya, nde ko sya napaalis agad kaya ayun, nahuli tuloy sya sa checkpoint nung pauwi na sya.
Ayaw nya kasi talagang dumaan nung gabing yun. Kasi raw una, gabi na at mei dala pa syang motor syempre delikado kasi baka nga maholdup sya eh. Tas mei checkpoint nga raw sa kanila eh hindi pa nareregister yung motor nila so mei possibility nga na mahuli sya. Tapos baka mag-alala rin yung parents nya kasi nga late na nun. Pero pinilit ko pa rin sya kasi naman ayokong palipasin yung araw na hindi ko sya nakikita. Mahirap yun eh. Nandun lang ako tas nde pa kami magkikita. Pero ayan tuloy, nahuli sya. Super naguilty ako nun time na yun kasi naman dahil sakin nakuha yung license nya. Eh nagkataon na wala syang pera ngayun so goodluck naman sa pangtubos nya dun. Eh binibigyan ko naman sya ng pera kasi sobrang guilty ako eh kaso ayaw naman nyang tanggapin. Haayz. Pero natouch ako ah. Kasi nakita ko yung eagerness nya na makita ako kahit ganun na yung situation nya.
So for this year kaka-iba yung v-day ko. Haha ayus. Parang wala lang.. Bwahaha :)
Things are getting worse each day.
Thursday, February 5, 2009 | Time: Thursday, February 05, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
As usual, mabilis na naman ang takbo ng mga araw. I just passed my resignation letter few days ago and after that moment, things get worse each passing day. She talked to me last Tuesday afternoon and as expected, I am going to experience harassment from her. We talked for an hour (3-4 pm) and I can't believe that I was able to do that to her. Her, being my superior and me, being her subordinate. Honestly, I somehow got to raise my voice on her when we were talking but that is solely because she was the first one who did that to me.
All my life as a student, I was not able to do that to any of my teachers and professors. I respected them even though I didn't like them. I respected them even if naturally, I am not a courteous person. But ever since I stepped in this place, I don't know what happened to me. I started to lose my Thomasian upbringing and started to be a non-conformist one which I am really not because I always try to live in the middle of things to avoid arguments.
It's not that I don't like the school. Yes, I admit that I have some bitterness about it but it does not mean that I don't like it. I love the school. All of my friends know that. I have, we have so many plans about it but all of those were shattered because of two things: lack of support from the community and the "narrow-mindedness" of the administrator.
I am just ashamed of what's happening to the Catholic Church nowadays. I have been in a prestigious Catholic institution for 16 years and I can't believe that when I step out of that place, I can see the real situation. Now I understand why many people lose their faith in the Church. Now I know why they don't believe in what those priests and nuns teach because I have clearly seen the the reason why.
I really can't believe why she is acting that way. I can't accept that she forgets her identity everytime she is in that school. It seems that she have her own God whom she praises because she does not show what she should. She is a nun yet she is acting that way. I can't elaborate more anout those things because telling you guys about it is very shemful for me especially that I am a CaTholic.
.
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*copied* can relate eh. :)
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 | Time: Wednesday, February 25, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
my mind said that there is something wrong.
BUT my heart said that there is NOT.
my mind said that i've done so much
BUT my heart said that it's NOT yet enough.
my mind said that he has changed.
BUT my heart said that NO he is not.
my mind said that "hey!wake up.believe me."
BUT my heart said that "NO.this is reality.believe me."
my mind said that he's doing wrong.
BUT my heart said that NO.just believe him.
and lastly.
my mind said that " i know that you're almost giving up."
BUT my HEART said that "i'm strong. i can still hold on."
why do they make things complicated. x__x
i may not have the softest touch
i may not say the words as such
and though i may not look like much
I'M YOURS
and though my edge is maybe rough
i never feel i'm quite enough
and though I don't fit in that much
BUT I'M YOURS
Help.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009 | Time: Tuesday, February 24, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
Help nyu naman ako. I need ideas para sa prineprepare ko na "something" para sa kanya sana this saturday. Gusto ko kasing makabawi sa kanya. Please. PM nyu lang ako. Ang gusto ko yung romantic na nde masyado maeffort. Hehehe basta, kahit anu. Wala pa kasi talaga akong idea kung panu at anu gagawin ko eh. Thanks.
Ayoko pero gusto ko.
Monday, February 23, 2009 | Time: Monday, February 23, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
Ayokong basta bumitaw. Ayokong basta sumuko. Lalu na ngayun na naplano ko na yung buhay ko kasama sya. Ayokong masayang yung mga bagay na pinagsamahan namin. Ang dami-dami na namin napagdaanan kaya ayokong basta mawala sya. Mahal na mahal ko sya eh. Sobra. Pero kelan? Kelan ako dapat tumigil? Gusto kong magpakamartir. Gusto kong magsakripisyo para sa kanya. Pero hanggang kelan? Hirap na hirap na ako sa sitwasyon eh. Hindi ko alam kung san ko dapat ilugar yung sarili ko. Hindi ko alam kung normal pa ba at kung parte ba talaga ng pagkatao nya yung pinapakita nya sa kin ngayun. Nahihirapan ako. Willing naman akong bumigay sa kanya eh. Na kalimutan yung lahat lahat marinig ko lang sa kanya yung gusto kong marinig. Pero wala. Talagang wala. Gusto kong maging martir tulad nung dati. Pero kahit anung gawin ko, ayaw na ng puso ko. Mahal na mahal ko sya pero hanggang kelan?
Panu ko malalaman?
Sunday, February 22, 2009 | Time: Sunday, February 22, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
Panu ko malalaman kung dapat na naming tigilan to?
Ganito na lang talaga siguro.
Kakahiwalay lang namin. Galing sya dito sa amin and as expected, wala na naman nangyari sa pag-uusap namin. I thought kaya sya pumunta dito ay para mapag-usapan rin kahit papanu yung problema pero I was wrong. Wala na namang nangyari. Actually, nde nga matatawag na pag-uusap yung ginawa namin eh. Para kaming mga tanga sa totoo lang. Ewan ko ba. Kahit anung pilit yung gawin ko, wala eh. Ayaw nya talagang magsalita. Ayaw niyang iopen kung anu yung tumatakbo sa isip nya. Kahit anung pilit ko, wala talaga. Nagagalit pa sya sakin kapag tinatanung ko sya. Ang kulit kulit ko raw. Tinanggap ko na rin eh. Pumayag na ako na bumalik sa dati yung lahat kahit nde naman talaga nasolusyunan yung problema. Ok lang. Kumbaga, "Sige, suko na ako. Hahayaan na lang kita kung ayaw mo, ok lang. Iintindihin ko na lang. Ganun eh. Wala naman akong magagawa pa. Kaya sige. Sige." Pero nung talagang hindi ko kayang hayaan na lang na ganun, tinanung ko ulit sya, nung pinilit ko ulit sya na pag-usapan namin yung problema, wala. Ang sabi ko, "Hahayaan na lang ba natin na ganito to? Na hindi sinusulusyunan yung problema? Ok ka na ba na ganito?" Ang sagot nya sakin, "Oo. Ganito na lang." Nung narinig ko yun, dun ko na talaga naconclude na ganun talaga syang klaseng tao. Na kahit anung gawin ko, ganun na sya eh. Ganun na. Sumakit na naman yung puso ko. Nanikip yung dibdib ko. Gusto kong umiyak pero asa public place kami and for sure, magagalit lalu sya sakin. Sasabihin nya, nagdradrama ako. Hinayaan ko na lang ulit. "Sige, ayaw mo talagang pag-usapan, sige. Ayus lang."
Ok lang naman sakin kung ayaw nya talaga eh pero ang ayoko eh yung magagalit pa sya sakin. Yung ako pa yung magiging masama kasi kinukulit ko sya na magopen sakin. Sige irerespeto ko sya. Pero sana yung respetong yun hindi lalung makasira sa lahat. Ang sakit sakit ng pakiramdam ko ngayun kasi naging ganito yung lahat. Kasi kahit anung gawin ko, wala. Yung tipong "hanging" lang yung sitwasyon. Ang hirap hirap. Mahal ko siya. Mahal na mahal. Pero hindi lang "love" ang kailangan para mag-work out ang isang relationship di ba? Naguguluhan ako. Sobrang naguguluhan.
Tonight.
I remember the times we spent together
on those drives
We had a million questions
all about our lives
and when we got to New York
everything felt right
I wish you were here with me
tonight
I remember the days we spent together
were not enough
and it used to feel like dreamin'
except we always woke up
Never thought not having you
here now would hurt so much
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight
I remember the time you told me about when you were eight
And all those things you said that night that just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
and the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
and stayed out way too late
I remember the time you sat and told me about your Jesus
and how not to look back even if no one believes us
When it hurt so bad sometimes
not having you here...
I sing,
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight
I sing,
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight
I know sometimes it's gonna rain.
Kung kaya mong ipaglaban, ipaglaban mo.
Lahat ng problema, nadadaan sa matinong usapan.
Kung hindi mo na ako mahal, sabihin mo, wag mong iparamdam. Kasi masakit eh.
Bumitaw kapag alam mong wala na talagang pag-asa.
Mabuti pa ata yung ikaw lang yung nagmamahal at hindi ka kilala ng taong mahal mo, at least, mapipigilan mo yung sakit. Ikaw nagdedecide para sa buhay mo eh. Ikaw ang may gawa ng mga prinoproblema mo sa buhay. Kaya kung ayaw mo na, pwedeng pwede. Hindi mo sya kailangang sabihan at kausapin pa. Wala nang problema.
Naiirita ako.
Friday, February 20, 2009 | Time: Friday, February 20, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
Ayan na naman kami, naiirita na naman ako sa kanya. Ewan ko ba. pag nakakaramdam talaga ako ng inis sa kanya, wala, sobrang inis na inis na talaga ako. Kakaibang inis. Yung tipong matagal mawala. Nanggigigil ako sa kanya.
Ang tagal tagal na nang ganitong problema sa min eh pero hanggang ngayun, nandito pa rin. Nde pa rin naaayus. Panu, pag inopen sa kanya, ang dating palaging ako na lang yung masama. Oo nga, mei mali ako sigurado yun, meron. Pero siguro naman, meron rin syang mali dun. Tuwing ioopen ko yung prob.sa kanya, ang lagi nyang sinasabi, ganun sya kaya pasensya na. Puro ang sagot nya, "Ok.", "Sori." Nde na namin napag-uusapan yung problema kasi tuwing ioopen ko, sasabihin nya, hindi ko sya naiintindihan. Tapos pag nageexplain pa ako at naiiyak na ako, hindi na nya ulit ako kakausapin kasi raw ayaw nyang naririnig akong umiiyak. Lalo na pag tungkol sa work nya. Sinasabi nya, akala nya naiintindihan ko sya. Kaya nga ang sagot ko sa kanya lately, "Pagdating sa work mo, hindi na ako papalag." Hindi na, kasi alam kong wala na talaga eh. Ako pa rin yung magiging mali, magtampo man ako o hindi. Ang hirap nung hindi napag-uusapan yung problema kasi nagbuibuild-up lang eh. Hindi nasosolusyunan. Lalo lang lumalala. Nagpapatong-patong. Pero sya, ok lang sa kanya kapag ganun. Basta sa kanya, ayaw nyang pag-usapan pag mei problema. Hindi ko alam kung anung ayaw nyang makinig o anu man kaya ayaw nyang pag-usaoan eh pero mali yun eh. Wala na akong magawa pagdating dun. Lalo lang akong naiirita sa kanya. Hindi ko alam.
Kung kaya ko lang. kung kaya ko lang talaga.. Haayz. :(
Sabi ko na eh.
Thursday, February 19, 2009 | Time: Thursday, February 19, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
Sabi ko na eh. Aaminin ko, nasasaktan ako. Kasi naman kahit pilit kong pinapaniwala yung sarili ko na hindi ako aasa, alam ko, deep inside, umasa pa rin ako. Nangyari na naman yung dati eh. Ang hirap hirap umasa sa wala. Yung tipong bibigyan ka ng chance tapos hindi naman pala matutuloy. Yung papatikimin ka ng ganito tapos talagang tikim lang pala. Yung paghihirapan mo, magpapakapagod ka pero wala naman palang mangyayari. Naalala ko lang yung walang kamatayang linya ni Roby, "Wag kang maghintay para walang expectations." Tama nga naman. Wag na lang maghintay para nde masakit sa dulo, pero kaya ba yun? Parang ang hirap naman atang pangatawanan nun. Kasi kahit anung pilit mo na hindi umasa kapag pinapatikim sayo yung mga posibilidad, wala. Malulunod at malulunod ka na talaga. Sana na lang sa mga susunod na experiences ko sa buhay, matutunan ko na talagang hindi umasa para hindi na ko masaktan. :(
v-day na nakakaguilty. :(
Monday, February 16, 2009 | Time: Monday, February 16, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
Last Feb. 14 dateless talaga ako. Nakakalungkot lang kasi napaisip ako bout dun sa mga dati eh. Nung wala pa kong bf, tuwing dadating yung v-day, para syang isang big day na winiwish ko na sana maexperience ko rin pero ngayun iba na eh. Hindi naman sa dapat talaga mei date sa day na yun or what. Wala lang. Syempre, Valentine's nga eh. Hehe
Nakakaguilty lang yung last v-day kasi naman, nahuli sya ng pulis sa pagddrive ng motor nya tapos nakuha pa yung license nya. :( Pinadaan ko kasi sya sa house sa Laguna after ng work nya ng 10:00 pm tapos imbis na saglit lang sya, nde ko sya napaalis agad kaya ayun, nahuli tuloy sya sa checkpoint nung pauwi na sya.
Ayaw nya kasi talagang dumaan nung gabing yun. Kasi raw una, gabi na at mei dala pa syang motor syempre delikado kasi baka nga maholdup sya eh. Tas mei checkpoint nga raw sa kanila eh hindi pa nareregister yung motor nila so mei possibility nga na mahuli sya. Tapos baka mag-alala rin yung parents nya kasi nga late na nun. Pero pinilit ko pa rin sya kasi naman ayokong palipasin yung araw na hindi ko sya nakikita. Mahirap yun eh. Nandun lang ako tas nde pa kami magkikita. Pero ayan tuloy, nahuli sya. Super naguilty ako nun time na yun kasi naman dahil sakin nakuha yung license nya. Eh nagkataon na wala syang pera ngayun so goodluck naman sa pangtubos nya dun. Eh binibigyan ko naman sya ng pera kasi sobrang guilty ako eh kaso ayaw naman nyang tanggapin. Haayz. Pero natouch ako ah. Kasi nakita ko yung eagerness nya na makita ako kahit ganun na yung situation nya.
So for this year kaka-iba yung v-day ko. Haha ayus. Parang wala lang.. Bwahaha :)
Things are getting worse each day.
Thursday, February 5, 2009 | Time: Thursday, February 05, 2009 |
0 tears dropped
As usual, mabilis na naman ang takbo ng mga araw. I just passed my resignation letter few days ago and after that moment, things get worse each passing day. She talked to me last Tuesday afternoon and as expected, I am going to experience harassment from her. We talked for an hour (3-4 pm) and I can't believe that I was able to do that to her. Her, being my superior and me, being her subordinate. Honestly, I somehow got to raise my voice on her when we were talking but that is solely because she was the first one who did that to me.
All my life as a student, I was not able to do that to any of my teachers and professors. I respected them even though I didn't like them. I respected them even if naturally, I am not a courteous person. But ever since I stepped in this place, I don't know what happened to me. I started to lose my Thomasian upbringing and started to be a non-conformist one which I am really not because I always try to live in the middle of things to avoid arguments.
It's not that I don't like the school. Yes, I admit that I have some bitterness about it but it does not mean that I don't like it. I love the school. All of my friends know that. I have, we have so many plans about it but all of those were shattered because of two things: lack of support from the community and the "narrow-mindedness" of the administrator.
I am just ashamed of what's happening to the Catholic Church nowadays. I have been in a prestigious Catholic institution for 16 years and I can't believe that when I step out of that place, I can see the real situation. Now I understand why many people lose their faith in the Church. Now I know why they don't believe in what those priests and nuns teach because I have clearly seen the the reason why.
I really can't believe why she is acting that way. I can't accept that she forgets her identity everytime she is in that school. It seems that she have her own God whom she praises because she does not show what she should. She is a nun yet she is acting that way. I can't elaborate more anout those things because telling you guys about it is very shemful for me especially that I am a CaTholic.
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Cyberfriends
your affilates goes hereeee :D like this
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